Skulduggery Pleasant: random drabbles
by Kribu
Summary: Random bits of Skulduggery-related drabbles or serial drabbles. No particular themes or pairings  but I am a Skul/Val fan, so there might be some of that at some point. Spoilers for ALL released books, now including Death Bringer.
1. Why?

**A/N:** I have a longer SP fic to write again at some point, but other things keep getting in the way, so for now, I'll just write whenever I have time and whatever I have time for. In other words, little unconnected bits that wouldn't make a longer story anyway. And this is where they will be.

**Disclaimer:** Characters, settings, or basically anything you recognise are not mine. I make no money from this.

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><p>"Why didn't you arrest me?"<p>

He looks at the girl standing by the window in his kitchen. Her back, turned towards him, is tense; her hands are clenched in fists.

"I killed those people. And we both know it wasn't the Remnant in me that did it."

He hesitates.

"It was the Remnant that opened the door to Darquesse."

She turns and laughs, the sound bitter in her throat.

"Was it?"

He doesn't know what to tell her. It scares him; the idea that this girl – this girl he has come to care for – may yet turn into pure evil.

X

"Everyone thinks it was the Remnant."

It's not an answer, and he knows it.

"But not you."

He's silent for a moment. "What good would it do if I had you locked up?"

She turns around now, facing him.

"People would be safe."

He shrugs. "People are never safe."

"Isn't it your job to keep them safe?"

"Our job, Valkyrie."

"And I'm so very good at it. Yeah, right."

He still doesn't know what to tell her. Except that he would never lock her up.

He will kill her, if it comes to that. But he won't tell her that.


	2. The Old Photo

A/N: Inspired by the photo posted by Derek Landy in his blog ("Woohoo!", 21 June 2011, http: / / dereklandy .blogspot .com /2011/06/ woohoo. html).

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><p>"Skulduggery?"<p>

Valkyrie was holding an old, sepia-coloured photo in her hand. Skulduggery bent closer to take a look at it.

"Ah. Yes."

"Is that you?" She pointed at the – naked, apart from the tattered-looking top hat – skeleton sitting astride a bicycle on the photo.

Skulduggery cleared his throat.

"Ah. Yes. It is."

"And is that…" Valkyrie squinted, looking at the moustached man next to the skeleton, riding another bicycle.

"It's no one you would know. Neither is the man on the bench."

Valkyrie hesitated. "Uh… Why are you naked?"

"Well… Oh, look, is that the time? We have to go."


	3. A Good Deed

A/N: A missing scene set between Dark Days and Mortal Coil.

Disclaimer: still not mine.

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><p>The Bentley skid to a stop in front of the house on Cemetery Road.<p>

Valkyrie was about to open the door when something caught her eye.

"Um, Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"What are all those vans doing here? And the people?"

"Oh, them. I'm having plumbing installed. Didn't I mention it?"

"I wouldn't have asked if you had."

Skulduggery shrugged. "Well, now I have."

Valkyrie looked at him. "Did you… Are you doing it for my benefit?"

He tilted his head. "It may have had something to do with that."

"Thank you." She smiled. "I really was getting tired of that bucket."


	4. No Man's Land

A/N: This is set post-Death Bringer. If you haven't read Death Bringer yet and do not like the idea of spoilers, PLEASE GO AWAY NOW. Seriously. This set of drabbles has spoilers for Death Bringer. Not the hugest spoilers there can be, but a few things will be spoiled. So, you know ... if you don't want to get spoiled, you have now been warned.

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><p>There was a knock at the door.<p>

China put down the book she had been staring at for the last two hours. She didn't need to check who was on the other side. She'd recognise his knocks anywhere.

Bone on wood, even if it was bone encased in the finest leather, sounded just a _little_ bit different than fingers on wood, fingers of flesh and blood.

So that was it, then. A few more precious moments; then the door would fly off and she would meet her end. And it wouldn't be pretty, or quick, or painless.

She wouldn't run.

xXx

"China?"

Why hadn't he broken the door down? Would she really have to go and open it for him? Invite him in, engage in small talk, offer him a cup of tea – no, not much point in that – and then wait gracefully for him to mete out the punishment she deserved?

"I'm not here to kill you." His voice was resigned. "I know that you will find this difficult to believe, but I'm here to tell you that you can stop hiding."

She blinked. Not kill her?

Curiosity got the better of her. She stood up and opened the door.

xXx

He didn't take the seat she offered him. His suit was rumpled and there was mud on his shoes, but his gun was tucked away, so she assumed his unusually unruly appearance had something to do with something else, not with a wild chase around the Irish countryside in order to find her.

"You mentioned that you're not going to kill me."

"I did indeed."

"Why not? Not that I'm complaining, you understand, but…"

"But you're puzzled."

"To be honest, yes."

He tilted his head. "Good. And no, I'm not going to tell you. My reasons are… personal."

China smiled.

xXx

"You understand, of course, that I'm going to find it difficult to trust you ever again."

She let the smile grow a little, making sure to put just the right amount of coquettishness into it. "You've never trusted me."

He stayed silent.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh." He raised his head and looked into her eyes. "Don't mistake this for me forgiving you. Or for me forgetting it. You and I… It's all in the past now."

China laughed; a delicate, if bitter, sound. "It's all been in the past for a long time. I've known for years now. With Valkyrie around…"

xXx

"Valkyrie has nothing to do with this."

China sighed. "Valkyrie has everything to do with this. You may lie to me, if you wish, but don't lie to yourself. How is Valkyrie, by the way?"

"Healing. She dumped the vampire, you know. Into the sea."

"Oh. So it was Caelan."

"It was."

"I suppose you would say it was a lesson she needed to learn."

"I would. And she did."

"And Fletcher?"

He shrugged. "He may still be harbouring hopes; I wouldn't know. But it's over."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Skulduggery…"

"Leave it, China."

xXx

He brushed a leaf off his hat. "I didn't come here to discuss my relationship with Valkyrie with you. I came here to tell you that I've been doing some thinking and as a result of my brilliant mind, I've decided to not kill you. If that's all—"

"She needs someone she can look up to."

He was silent for a moment. "Then she has to look elsewhere."

China sighed. "She needs someone amazing."

"And what do I need?"

"Someone to remind you what life is about."

He put his hat back on and opened the door. "Goodbye, China."


	5. And the Darkness Rained Upon Them

A/N: Yay, my muse is back after a month-long absence! This grew out of a discussion about Skul/Darquesse in the SP forums.

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><p>'Let Valkyrie back out. Please.'<p>

Darquesse traced a finger over Skulduggery's cheekbone, her dark eyes full of desire. Skulduggery dipped his head, not willing to look at her. She _wasn't_ Valkyrie, dammit! No matter how much she looked like his partner, she wasn't Valkyrie. Not his Valkyrie.

The hungry look on her face wasn't making things any better. He'd dreamed of Valkyrie looking at him like that – dreams, which he full well knew, were far more conscious and sensible than those of people who actually slept – and he wasn't sure if he could resist.

'I don't think so,' she whispered.

x

He shivered when she ran her hands over his chest, her touch demanding, her fingers clasping his ribs, making him gasp for air he didn't need.

He should push her away. She wouldn't kill him – she could, of course; he knew she was powerful enough to, but he wasn't afraid she'd take his rejection as a reason to tear his consciousness apart. It wasn't insanity her eyes glittered with.

He should push her away. If he didn't, once Darquesse got what she wanted and drew back into the recesses of Valkyrie's mind… She'd know what had happened.

He stopped resisting.


	6. Dealing with the Aftermath

A/N: Set immediately after the _My Twilight_ chapter in Death Bringer.

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><p>It had taken Nye no more than half an hour to fix both her wounds and those of Fletcher. Valkyrie still didn't like having to submit to Nye's not-so-tender mercies, but at least Ghastly had made sure there was someone in the room with Nye and its patients at all times now.<p>

She got dressed, wincing at the discomfort. It would take another hour for the pain to disappear completely, Nye had said. It hadn't sounded particularly sorry about that.

Fletcher had left already, as soon as Nye pronounced him well enough to teleport.

Valkyrie sighed. She would miss him.

x

She still couldn't quite believe they'd killed Caelan. That _she_ had killed Caelan. Fine, so he'd become clingy and irritating and she'd meant to dump him anyway, but she hadn't actually meant to dump him so literally, in the cool salty sea.

All his own fault, of course. It had been self-defence, pure and simple.

So why was she still feeling so… so terrible about it? She had killed before. She'd even killed vampires, or future vampires, before.

And she'd felt horrible about it then, too, she reminded herself. She wasn't a killer. She didn't want to be one, anyway.

x

Valkyrie stared at her phone, willing it to ring. If Skulduggery knew what had happened… Surely he'd come over, tell her something silly and arrogant and completely ridiculous and cheer her up. Wouldn't he?

Perhaps she should… No. She'd thought about it before, and she just couldn't drop by his house. What could she possibly say? _'I'm sorry that China got your family killed and caused your death. Oh – want to go out and have fun tonight? Shoot some bad guys, watch a film together, have some ice cream?'_

She shook her head. She had no idea what to do.

x

The knock on her window came at night, so quiet and hesitant that it took her a few moments to wake up properly and realise it wasn't a dream.

She opened the window and Skulduggery climbed inside. He sat awkwardly on the window sill, his head tilted at her.

There was so much she wanted to – needed to – ask him. About China. About where he'd been these last few days. Whether he was OK or not – well, likely not, but even so. Whether he was plotting to slit China's throat some night. Whether he'd want her help if he did.

x

'I heard what happened,' he said.

'Ah.'

She wanted to bury her face in the front of his shirt and cry – not for Caelan, but for herself, and for what she was turning into, and for him. But she was Valkyrie Cain, and she never cried. Certainly not in front of her partner and best friend.

His shirt was wrinkled, she noticed. So was his suit, usually so immaculate. In fact, she could have sworn he was still wearing the same clothes he'd worn when they'd met China and that woman, Scorn, and when Skulduggery's world had come crashing down.

x

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Valkyrie gave a slight shrug. 'Caelan had it coming.'

'He did.' Skulduggery studied her face. She hoped the pillow hadn't left lines on her cheek. 'But he _was_ your boyfriend.'

'Not boyfriend. Just someone I got carried away with.'

He nodded. 'That can happen to the best of us. I mean myself, of course.'

She couldn't help but smile at that. 'I can't imagine you could ever get carried away with someone so unsuitable and wrong. Someone who people have warned you about.'

Skulduggery tilted his head. 'Can't you?' He sounded… Resigned. Sad.

x

'Oh.' She remembered the way he'd looked at the Requiem Ball, twirling China around, pulling her against his skeletal chest. _China._

'Yes.'

'Do you…' She hesitated. 'Do you want to talk about it? I mean… China was your friend. My friend, too.'

'I warned you not to trust her.'

'You did. You should have—'

'Taken my own advice?' He jumped down from the window sill, into her room, his silhouette dark against the moonlight. 'I should have. I was a fool.'

'So was I. With Caelan.'

'Do _you_ want to talk about it?'

'About Caelan? Or China?'

'The vampire.'

x

'I don't like that I had to kill him.' Her words came in a rush. 'There's been so much death. It was self-defence, but I wish… I wish there had been another way.'

'I wish I could have killed him for you.'

'I'm glad you didn't.' She looked at him. 'I know you wanted to. I appreciate that you let me deal with him in my own way.'

He nodded. 'There are lessons in life we all need to learn on our own, and it seems yours are harder than most others. I should still have been there with you.'

x

'I missed you.' She sat on her bed, her shoulders slumped. 'If Fletcher hadn't come…'

Skulduggery sank down on the bed next to her. 'I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad the boy was there to help.'

'Would you miss me if Caelan had killed me?' She knew how ridiculous she sounded. Of course he would. Wouldn't he?

He put his arm around her, pulled her into a hug. 'I don't know about _missed_,' he whispered into her hair, his voice muffled. 'But I suppose so. I've got used to having you around.'

She punched him, and grinned.


End file.
